Nobody Can Drink from an Empty Cup

We are all experiencing anxiety and fear these days. It’s to be expected as we’re seeing our world and lives change. A crisis like this is too complex to put into words. In times of human struggle, the world needs kindness and empathy.

Can you push through your anxiety and find blessings in these challenges?

I’ve learned a lot about myself in 2020. One thing is that I shouldn’t take for granted the little things in life.

Like many of us, this year has made me look at my life and see what’s most valuable. What I’m thankful for. I think it’s a simple but hard question for many: what do you value most? For me, my family and my health are the most important. My family, because I love them dearly. My health, because as my baba use to say, “Nobody can drink from an empty cup.”

Christmas has a special place in my heart. While I was growing up, Christmas was forbidden in Bulgaria by the Communist party. We only celebrated New Year’s, but my grandmother was always able to keep the Christmas spirit and traditions alive. In this post, I’ll introduce you to one of my favorite rituals, “fortune bread.” I weave rituals and traditions from my childhood into all my books, to keep them alive and pass them on to future generations.

December is magical in Bulgaria. The harvesting is done, wheat is in the mills, wine is ready for drinking. It’s a time to stay near the fire, cook hearty meals, and celebrate with family and friends.

The beginning of the winter festivities starts in late October and continues until early spring when nature awakens and people need to go back to the fields and vineyards. This is the time when name days abound. These are special days dedicated to a person’s name, and are an important part of the celebrations. For Bulgarians, name days are even more important than birthdays.

One major celebration is St. Nicholas day, Nikulden, on December 6. Everyone who has a name related to “Nicholas,” whether male or female, celebrates this name day.

The saint is not only the patron of the seas, sailors, and fishermen, but also a patron of merchants and bankers. According to beliefs, he helps young people to get married. On his day, people prepare a meal of ritual bread, baked carp, and wine.

For me, Nikulden is the start of the Christmas preparation and celebration. Christmas Eve, or as we call it Budni Vecher, is one of the most beloved and cozy family holidays. People from near and far return to their families to celebrate Christmas and wish all the best for the coming year. On Christmas Eve, we perform rituals and traditions that have been observed in Bulgarian families for centuries.

Before setting the festive table on Christmas Eve, the owner of the house lights a special tree in the hearth, called a budnik. The wood is pear, oak, or beech. I created a new tradition in my family by keeping the trunk from our Christmas tree and using it as a budnik log for the next year. It feels like the tree carries the magic of Christmas and our memories.

The meal is an essential part of the evening. The dishes on the table are an odd number and are healthy. Seven is popular because it’s signifies the number of days in a week, and people make a variety of nine dishes because nine represents the number of months of a woman’s pregnancy. In some parts of the country, they make twelve dishes, as many as the months of the year, but I guess they like to cook.

I don’t have enough time for that. I usually do only seven dishes, because it takes time to cook everything from scratch, and nowadays we work full-time jobs and juggle other household tasks. Besides, seven is my favorite number.

Honey is a must have on the table to make sure the new year is sweet and prosperous. I like to include walnuts, because we do fortune telling using walnuts. Each person selects a walnut and if the nut is good inside your year will be healthy and happy.

But my favorite ritual as a child and even now is the fortune bread called pitka. It’s always home-made, as it’s a symbolic sacrifice. We put a coin wrapped in foil inside the dough. Whoever gets the coin in his piece of bread will be the lucky one during the year.

Christmas is a special time for many people. The holiday can be chaotic and has become one of the most commercialized days of the year. Yet, still, it’s a holy day for many people, despite the fact that the stresses of the season take over. We talk about this holiday in our book Light Love Rituals. You can also learn a little more about Budni vecher in our children’s short story The Christmas Thief, where a little boy learns about sharing.

If you want to make this ritual bread yourself, you can download the recipe here: https://storyoriginapp.com/directdownloads/b5a2b185-261d-4837-b1cb-54ec785cd618.

Wishing you a blessed and happy Christmas and holiday season. Stay safe and happy!

Diversity Is a Fact – Inclusion Is a Choice

Diversity is a fact; inclusion is a choice! In the last few years, we’ve all heard the word “diversity” used on TV, in newspapers, and during work training sessions. For a lot of people, diversity is about a person’s skin color, but the subject goes well beyond color.

Diversity means understanding that each individual is unique, and recognizing our differences, whether they are race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, age, physical abilities, religious beliefs, political beliefs, or other ideologies. When we’re open to diversity, we see people from different angles and accept them as equal to us.

Whenever anyone asks me where I’m from, I tell them and then ask the same question in return, because everyone has come from somewhere in the last twenty years, or fifty, or a hundred. America is a melting pot, but all these newcomers, immigrants like me and others, bring to this country new ideas, passion, creativity, and a desire to succeed and build their dream. This is the steam moving the engine and making this country great. Diversity is power, but you need to know how to nourish individual cultures to drive innovation, passion, and inclusion.

Love is natural; hate is learned. A child hugs and kisses another person long before he learns to hit and hurt. Yet as we grow, we become aware of all the hatred that fills this world—hatred toward those we know little to nothing about, simply because they have different beliefs, religions, skin color, or any other aspect that makes them not like us. But we are humans. We are all the same. What makes us different is due to where we grew up, what we were taught.

Each person is a constant project: changing and adapting—sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. All our lives we wander to find a better place to live or a better job, to learn new skills, to make a discovery, or to invent something of value. Today, technology has removed boundaries. We can easily physically travel to different places in the world, but we can also “bounce” around the virtual space of the web, where we make acquaintances worldwide.

In our travels, we build our homes, make new friends, raise our children, attend weddings, and say goodbye to friends and family, sending them to the world beyond. Even thousands of miles from where we were born and raised, we keep our customs and practice the traditions that we have been nourished with. We share them with friends who have a different cultural heritage, upbringing, and faith; and we in turn accept new ones.

We must learn to respect other cultures as much as we support people in our own community. Traditions are a great way to teach children the cultural and religious history of mankind by giving them their own identity and roots. Culture is a temple for the human soul. This is what we carry with us as we wander, what we develop as we adapt to the place we choose to call our home.

In my book “The Wanderer – A Tear and A Smile,” I reflect on my life as an immigrant, the appreciation of my Bulgarian culture and the culture of my adopted country, America.

Pick up a copy of The Wanderer – A Tear and A Smile: Reflections of an Immigrant for more insight into Bulgarian faith, folklore, and rituals.
The Wanderer - A Tear and A Smile
 

The book is available here: https://books2read.com/TheWanderer

Also available in Bulgarian: Българска версия “Скитникът – Усмивки и Сълзи” (Skitnikut – usmivki I sulzi: Rasmisleniata na edin bulgarski emigrant)

The Wanderer - Bulgarian

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1949397963/

Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/skitnikut-usmivki-i-sulzi-ronesa-aveela/1135608799?ean=9781949397963

Other retailers: https://books2read.com/TheWandererBulgarian